The Past, Skeletons in the Closet, and Freedom

The foundation of any psychological recovery, in my view, is deep work with the past: processing traumatic experiences, reducing reactivity, and correcting those internal beliefs and decisions that were once formed and have been running a person from the inside ever since.

It’s remarkable how many so-called “spiritual seekers” ignore this entirely. They try to “develop” something within themselves, supposedly “grow,” discuss lofty matters — while at the same time being torn apart by childhood resentments, parental scripts, automatic reactions to external triggers, long-ingrained complexes, and internal conflicts. They snap, rage, suffer, feel that “growth isn’t happening,” and then start forcing and blaming themselves even harder — instead of looking where the sources of most of their current problems actually lie: in their personal history.

Almost every person received some set of damage in childhood. Not because “all parents are bad,” but because most adults themselves carry trauma, fears, and limitations — and unconsciously pass them on. Families where a child receives truly sufficient love, attention, respect, and psychological safety are rare. Even if a child wasn’t beaten or physically abused, emotional pressure, humiliation, comparison, devaluation, coldness, manipulation, control, and suppression are extremely common.

Children absorb these patterns and then carry them into adult life — and repeat the same things in their own families, often without understanding what is happening to them. “We are all victims of victims,” wrote Louise Hay, and as a metaphor it’s very accurate: most people in modern society live not from freedom, but from inherited and learned scripts.

But childhood is not the only source of trauma and dysfunctional beliefs. Youth, with its broken expectations; school, with its conformity, bullying, and pressure; the army (if there was one); early work; conflicts; betrayals; relationships; divorces; toxic environments — all of this leaves a mark. Nothing passes without a trace. These things remain in the psyche as reactions, expectations, beliefs, and habitual defenses.

And then a person lives for years as if there were a minefield inside them that they don’t even know about. Any random phrase, glance, tone, or situation “hooks” something old — and triggers a reaction that is disproportionate to the situation: from irritation and panic to apathy and a complete collapse of motivation. Sometimes this shows up as nightmares, irrational fears, panic attacks, chronic anxiety, a constant inner sense of helplessness and doom.

Most people naively believe: “you can’t bring back the past” and “why stir it up — it’s all long forgotten.” This is self-deception. Yes, much is indeed forgotten at the level of ordinary memory. But that doesn’t mean it’s not operating. The past continues to live in you — in your reactions, in your perceptual filters, in your unconscious conclusions and decisions.

You may sincerely think that you “don’t care anymore,” that “it’s long gone,” that “it was in childhood and that’s it.” But all it takes is the right trigger — and the past comes alive. Not because a person is weak, but because that’s how the psyche works: what is not processed does not disappear, it turns into background programs.

Sometimes 20–30–40 years pass, and a person, accidentally encountering a similar situation, suddenly feels the same mix of shame, fear, or helplessness as back then. On the outside, they are an adult. On the inside, the old automatic response still fires. Usually this is accompanied by suppression: the psyche pushes the material away so the person can function. But “pushing it away” is not the same as processing it.

“So what,” someone might say, “it just sits there, let it sit.” Unfortunately, it doesn’t just sit there. It works. And it stinks. And even if you’ve stopped noticing the smell, that doesn’t mean it’s gone. A person adapts very quickly to any internal conditions, including pain. But that doesn’t stop pain from being pain, and it doesn’t stop beliefs from controlling behavior.

Once again: a huge portion of the problems you have today has roots in the past. It’s pointless to try to solve present-day problems — and especially to talk about psychological health and “growth” — if the past has not been addressed.

The unresolved past shows up today as:

• Automatic reactions to external stimuli — unconscious, triggered by old experiences and conclusions.
• Chronic tension and exhaustion. I’m not claiming that “all diseases come from nerves” — that’s an oversimplification. But the psyche affects the body enormously: stress, suppressed emotions, prolonged anxiety, and internal conflicts wear the body down. The more unresolved material you carry, the heavier it is for the body.
• Low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Guilt and shame accumulated over the years almost always run deeper than a person realizes. And they destroy self-respect, belief in oneself, and the ability to act.
• Self-sabotage. Guilt and shame are some of the strongest brakes on any change. On the surface, a person wants a “new life,” but internally a program is running: “I’m not allowed,” “I don’t deserve,” “I won’t succeed,” “it’s dangerous for me to be happy.” And then attempts to change collapse on their own — often at the worst possible moment. The person suffers from dissonance: they want it, yet “for some reason it doesn’t work.”
• Low effectiveness. Attention and energy are scattered: part of you is constantly occupied with internal conflicts, chewing over the past, suppressing reactions, maintaining defenses. Where is clarity, momentum, or development supposed to come from?

Aren’t we paying too high a price for this old junk in the back alleys of memory? Isn’t it time to scrap it?

I believe the past should be discharged and archived. I see no point in living in the past and suffering from what is long gone. If you want freedom — the past must stop being active.

Think about it: why does any professional psychotherapy almost always bring a person back to the past? Because professionals know: a stable present is impossible without a processed past. This kind of work is often accompanied by strong experiences, which is why people go to therapists for years — to sustain the process, not drop out of life, and not overload themselves.

In Turbo-Suslik, many processes are “under the hood”: the work runs in the background at a steady pace, while the person continues to live a normal life.

What kind of life can a person have when they are torn apart by hundreds and thousands of internal, unconscious traumas and resentments? And what kind of progress or development can there be? Usually, it turns into a heroic struggle with symptoms — with no hope of a final victory.

Isn’t it time to stop this nonsense? Isn’t it time to send all of this where it belongs — into the archive? And finally breathe freely and move on — without this weight on your shoulders?

Keep in mind: in Turbo-Suslik, working with the past is given top priority. If you disagree with this — don’t even start. There will be no result. Working with the past is one of the pillars the system stands on.

And don’t worry that there is “too much” past. With systematic work, it can be processed effectively and relatively quickly. The timeline differs for everyone, and I don’t promise miracles. But the first serious shifts usually come fairly early, and you can see it in your reactions to memories: less pain, less automaticity, less internal tension.

The result — when the past truly stops hooking you, when resentments lose their charge, when traumatic episodes become just memories — is achievable. I’ve been through it. Tens of thousands of others have been through it. That means you can as well.

I’m not promising it will be easy. You will have to work. At times it will be uncomfortable. But the goal is worth the effort.